Gold Crown IV

Gold Crown IV
FastMikie's Fun House, Del Mar, California

Saturday, June 16, 2007

The Glove's Dirty Little Secret

The glove doesn't keep your hand clean.
Seems like it should.

Especially considering the awful organisms
that must exist in the cloth of a typical table.

Think of some of the life-forms who play pool,
and it doesn't take much
to imagine the kind of parasites, viruses
and other disgusting debris on the average bridge hand,
and therefore on the average pool table
in the average pool hall.

It seems quite amazing that pool players as a species
have not been wiped out by some highly evolved
flesh-eating ebola virus that
festered and mutated
in the dark, deep in the slow cloth
of the back tables at Amsterdam Billiards,
after being deposited from the fingernails of
local degenerates and
illegal alien shooters from all over the third world.

Aye, a devil's brew of filth and disease,
awaiting your slightest touch.

Good God, give me a surgeon's gloves!

I'd like to design something better than what's available.
First of all, I'd want the glove to cover the whole hand.
Maybe add rubberized fingertips
for better grip on the balls when racking.
Holes and cutouts in the back and palm for cooling.

Gotta wash the glove frequently.
Certainly after every away-match,
before using it at the Fun House.

Although now I've got more laundry to do,
I still like the glove for shooting pool.

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