Learning experience 4-26-2007

My winning streak has come to an end.
I am human.

But, I am driven to be more.
I am superman.

So, superman,
what Kyrptonite felled you this night?
What was the cause?

I was calm, well rested, clear of mind.
Except for my ears which seem to be sick,
so I taking an anti-biotic.
But that's not an excuse.
I don't feel any effects of that drug.

Today I was practicing at home,
but kept missing easy shots.
Inconsistent, unfocused.

What's going on?

Tony was watching my match, tonight,
at the same time he's playing his match
on the next table.

His first observation is that
all 3 of my losses this session
have been on 7 foot tables,
so there's something about
the small size table that's throwing me off.

I agree.
I hate small tables
I feel constrained on a small table.
I like to let my stroke out.
(such as it is)

But why did I miss shots?
I knocked the 8 in early.
Missed another 8.
Missed two bank shots.
Safety play weak.
Scratched on the break.
It was humiliating.

I think it's because I let go of my spirit.
I did not want to be there.
I hate that bar,
It's disgusting
with thick cigarette smoke in the air.
The only reason I do it is for the team.

Tony says, before the match,
there is no hope for our team
to qualify for the city championships,
whether I win or not.

To sum it up:
It's the last match of the session.
Whatever we do doesn't matter.
Team doesn't need my win.
I hate the place.
And did I mention that
it's uncertain even IF I'm going to play?

My warrior spirit was down.

That, I think was the primary reason.

Plus, it was late in the evening,
so I had taken in lots of smoke by then.
Waiting for hours in heavy smoke
to do something irrelevant.

The waiting wore me down.

I should have walked out of there.
We had extra team members
who could have played and had fun.
But my heart wasn't into it.

And, something about seven foot tables...

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Let us celebrate this rare moment in my life
for the perspectives it brings,
seeds of future greatness.

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