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P O O L    S H O O T E R

The Adventures of FastMikie
in search of Truth and Beauty in the art of pocket billiards.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Please Help Me Cure My Madness!

The Ferrari California (click image for a bigger photo)

Love is a madness, and I have fallen in love. Gaze above, if you will, at the object of my madness: The all-new Ferrari California. The first Ferrari with a retractable hardtop, the first with a front-engine V8, and lines so lust-worthy that I fear that I have no option but to have one of these for my very own.

This madness will necessitate some major adjustments to my life-style. First of all, I will need to go back to work to raise the quarter of a million dollars (yes, it is truly a madness!) this beast will cost at a minimum. But I will need a job that pays much more than that because I'll have to buy a new home because right now I only have one parking spot, and with the Ferrari I'd need two spots because you surely can not drive this work of art every day, especially on short trips for haircuts, etc. (Maybe I could cut my own hair, to solve that problem, and to save money?)

There will be some challenges, of course. First of all, there are few jobs available that pay in the upper six figures per year, fewer still that would entertain the idea of hiring someone in the middle of their seventh decade of life. If that were not enough, I have a personal defect that makes me quite unsuitable for most of those jobs that would be available: I'm a lazy lad. I think I would need a job that I could do from the comforts of my hammock.

The worst thought of all is that if I were to find such a job that would pay what is needed to acquire the object of my affections, that it would impinge on my search for Truth and Beauty in the art of pocket billiards. It is almost unthinkable, of course, but such is the depth of my madness.

So, clearly, a job is out of the question. Therefore, I am reduced to begging. I throw myself at your feet, dear reader, humbly asking for your help to find a cure for my madness, and to keep me shooting pool. All donations gratefully accepted. And there may even be a free ride in it for you. Imagine this screaming banshee pulling Gs up Torrey Pines hill... oh, I'm getting all excited just thinking about it.

Click the button below. Use PayPal to send me your loose change and dog-eared C-notes. You know you want me to get well. You know you want a ride! Please? I'm begging you! Oh, the misery of Love...

Or, if you prefer, send checks and large suitcases full of cash to:

PO Box 2270
Del Mar, CA 92014

Many thanks...


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